You have to stop believing and start accepting the duality of extistence
A happy life is a good life, a happy mind is an asset but time is never the same. It’s the nature of the time to pass, whether it be a happy moment or a sad one, it will pass. So, should you worry about it or not? If yes, then you will spend your energy on something that is purely out of your control, then so, if you don’t then what about being prepared for the future? There are contradictions in life. The nature of life is chaos and there is no idealism in chaos other than the nature of never-ending entropy. By previous statements, I don’t mean to confuse just trying to draw out a fact that there are certain things in your control but there are also many things that are not. It doesn’t mean you should leave everything to almighty rather make yourself prepared that even if everything you planned out didn’t end well, you will still be able to handle yourself.
When you start looking inward you become aware of yourself. There are numerous things that are oblivious to you. Your unawareness of ignorance becomes the sole reason for you being confused about the self. By this, I don’t mean you might be doing unwell in your field or living an unhappy life. Being confused in general is very different from being the same with the self.
Lets, take an example. You must have heard people talking about the sense of individualism that they posses when they say, “Oh! this is just not me, I like things this way”.
Now, here the person wants to do a particular thing or he/she doesn’t want to do it just because they think they are not someone who would do it. I know in your first read it might have sounded ridiculous but isn’t it that we do all the time.
There is nothing that you dislike its just layers of biases that cloud your opinions.
There is a reason for us to have compassion towards fellow creatures. Just try looking within to find the source of your compassion. You will never find the source but will surely find the origin of compassion in your life. You must be aware of a tiny voice in your head which is always in conflict with your mind. Some say it’s the desire of the heart but no, it just your consciousness, soul trying to help you. You are not just the soul nor you are this physical body. Your reality is a marvelous example of duality. You are both the things at the same time and yet you are none of them individually. The soul has lived in various bodies and knows what it feels like to be in someone else’s boots. Hence, it will never let you hurt any creature because it was once its home. This is the string that binds every creature to themselves in this universe. Scientifically speaking, we don’t have sufficient shreds of evidence to prove this but there are certain researches and experiments going on to solve the “hard problem” of consciousness.
Returning back to the question with some intuition about the nature of the self. You are bounding yourself in addition to that you are trying to overcome others around you. This might not be your primary incentive but a sense of individualism that is drugged us since childhood in this modern era can be the prime suspect. The moment you think you are different, you fall into the trap. It’s a lie that is being sold out there. Your actions can be different but that won’t make your reality any different from others. You will still carve for the same things. The origin of disturbance in life comes from “the battle of me vs the rest of world”.
The thought of creating boundaries has already been creating destruction in the outside world, don’t let the same happen internally. At this point, you should also try working on relational consciousness. The moment we open up to the rest of the world, we know that being different is an illusion, and it’s fine. All of our internal disputes dissolve, just a step in the right direction, and your confusion about the self will vanish.
This is not going to happen overnight you have to work consistently and make it a part of your life. It’s just then when we realize that we are the ones in charge of ourselves; our actions, decisions. It is a pretty common fact for everyone.
But are you just a believer or you have accepted it?